You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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