I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
