Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so explain again why im purple
no
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
