what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
