i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
