Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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