Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
