i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We need a shit load of segways right now
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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