Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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