you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I want her autograph on my taint
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
