But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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