There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize