we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
