On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
