Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize