She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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