There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It's just like the Real World with babies
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
