I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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