Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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