i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
