the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
