it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
