i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
