he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize