im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
