Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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