that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
