bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
