I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
