She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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