she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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