So drunk its hurt
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
This is the high leading the old right now
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
