so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I am available for nakedness
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
