What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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