Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
