Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
