so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
