It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
