the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
