So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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