So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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