he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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