The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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