so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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