Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i may or may not be watching the land before time
it was like eating out sand paper
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
