do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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