the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You can't motorboat a personality
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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