There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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