How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Randomize
