Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
high people should be assigned attendants
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
