i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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