So drunk, too bad you don't want this
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
wow bdsm is so cute
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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