none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
