Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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