Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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