I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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