Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
