Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
