12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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