What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
