She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
