Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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