I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
