I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
