Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Come share oat with me in your robe
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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