should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
