Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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