when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
