A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
