Tell her she can't have a vagina
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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