I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
