it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
