Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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