i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
