Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize