She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
