how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
