You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
